Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Anticipation and Anxiety

As a young child, waiting for Christmas morning was always an exciting time.  You talked about it for weeks, months even.  When the morning finally arrived, you were so excited, yet scared the presents under the tree weren't going to be the ones you wanted.  The anticipation grew, the anxiety caused your heart to beat faster and harder.

With sporting events, when you have a particular team you root for and they are playing their rivals, you get the same sensation.  The game is about to end, the score is close, and it's your team's opportunity to score.  Or, if you watch racing, the laps are winding down and your driver is fighting for the lead and the win.  The closer to zero the clock ticks, the tighter the battle, the more engaged and involved you become.  The same heart racing and anticipation exist.  I've even seen it within my daughter as certain movies are about to be released.  The adrenaline rush!

The same anticipation and anxiety are existing within me these past few days as I await the delivery of my first batch of books.  Every time I see a delivery truck go down our street, I keep waiting for him to stop.  This is the day I've waited months for.  Actually, I've waited a lifetime for this.  The book has so much of my life within it, it's like it is alive...at least to me.  The urging of friends to write to a larger audience, the events in my life which are captured within the pages, and the honing of my writing over the years.  It all leads up to this moment in time.  It is a personal achievement, milestone even.  Just as I await the arrival, I also have the same anticipation and anxiety for people to actually be able to open the pages and read my story.

The anticipation, for me, comes from the desire to reach out and help readers rediscover the dreams that they once had and retrain them to pursue those very dreams.  The anxiety is from the not knowing.  Not knowing how the book will be perceived, if it will even be liked.  So much time went into the creation, how will it be accepted and judged?  My heart races, yet the anticipation is just as strong.  I can't wait!

What gets your heart racing?  When was the last time you felt that rush of blood and rapid-fire of your heartbeats?  If it's been a while, it's time you found a way to get the rush back...live again.  Go get it!

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