Golden Nuggets #1

I once heard someone say that information that can help you improve who you are and develop you professional and/or personally is called golden nuggets.  Here is my first installment in sharing my golden nuggets from the past few weeks.

Over the past week, I've had the pleasure of going to a leadership conference and obtaining feedback on the previous six months of my work in my new career track.  All of the information obtained has given me a reason to pause slightly and think through where I've been and where I'm going.  Yes, it's good...no, it's great to be back on a professional path!

The leadership conference allowed me to be exposed to our senior leadership and hear from them where they think the company and industry is headed and how they approached their careers along the way.  The largest thing I learned is there is no singular pathway to success within our company, you simply have to have two things, the desire to work hard and well and possess an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches.  Now, those are not the words spoken, but the overall message was just this.  The theme of the conference was Building Connections.  I believe the year prior was Making Connections, but since I wasn't there, I could be wrong.  Now, if the theme-line continues, I would love to see next year's become Managing Connections.

Now, back to the two items needed for success, let's focus there for today.  The desire to work hard and well seems simple enough, right?  Not really!  Everyone has the ability to work hard, but the desire has to come from owning a drive...a drive to succeed, own your work, take responsibility for your results, and a drive that comes from within.  No, it's not that simple really.  Own your work and take responsibility for your results.  That sentence right there is perhaps the simplest, yet most difficult to do as a human.  Human nature allows us to own everything that produces excellent results.  However, owning those failures is not quite as fun or rewarding.  What I've learned over the years is that even failures build leaders and success.  If you never fail, how hard are you really trying for success anyway?  You are following a path already blazed.  If you try something with great intentions and for all the right reasons with sound logic and it doesn't pan out...well, you learned what doesn't work and are that much closer to what does work.  Simply because something you did failed does not mean you are a failure, that only happens when you give up!  So, think about this and ask yourself if you really have the desire to work hard.  I can honestly answer I do!  I have much to learn and will continue to strive to learn every day in this new venture I'm in, by doing so I become better and more valuable.

The second item was never spoken out loud either, but the messages all pointed back to here.  The intent of the seminars were well received and carried the absolute right messages.  However, when combined together, the related thread and requirement was possessing an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches.  Human nature also provides us with this little thing called comfort in routines and patterns, they make us comfortable.  Yet, stepping outside this comfort is where the real work gets done.  In order to be successful, change is where it's at!  Doing the same things over and over and refusing to change has been at the heart of many previously successful companies either at the brink or over the edge of collapse.  Be excited by change, this means you are being challenged and get to learn.  Change can bring new, easier, better, and more successful things and processes into play.  For the most part, these changes are already tested and ready to implement.  Take charge, take the horns, drive the change, own the change...be the change.  If we change and are excited about where it is going to take us, then so will those around us.  Step out and step up!  This is where leaders are born and reside.  What's your address?  Out of the two tokens to take away here, this one is harder for me as well.  However, having recognized this, more of my energies are focused on this...I shall overcome my resistance and answer the challenge as well.  I am a firm believer leaders have traits unique to them, but without development, they never come to light or are honed.  It's my time to see what I've got!!

Life is a journey, not a destination.  The same with success.  After the feedback I received this week, I feel I'm on the right road and heading in the correct direction.  How many milestones I pass won't be fully known until retirement, when I reach the professional destination point.  In the interim, I'm travelling this road, it's what I am meant to do.  You in?

How Did This Happen? Life is Speeding Up!

When I first started writing again 5 or 6 years ago, I wrote every week...sometimes more.  I wrote about things I was feeling, experiencing, or simply thinking.  But, I wrote.  When I was looking for my next career after I left the military, I wrote even more.  I channeled my time and energies to ensure I remained sane.  Writing was my therapy.  And now?

It seems that I stay so busy these days that to sneak a few moments to write is stealing from something else needing to be done.  How did life become so busy that I forgot to record events, feelings, and dare I say, happiness?!

I do believe that is simply what has happened!  Family events, work events, and life events simply have taken up the empty spaces in time.  Yet, I must try harder to remember what got me through those times when things weren't so good.  Writing was easy when life was hard.  Now, writing seems to be hard now that life is easy.  I need to accept this challenge and return to the pages, document this happiness, and reflect on the journey.

I shall do better!  Life deserves documenting and life is indeed good.

Spring Cleaning Our Lives

As we go through each year of our lives, we tend to pick things up.  We pick up new friends, new favorite places, clothes, music, and even bad habits.  We add them all to our lives and we carry them with us into each new season.

Well, spring has finally sprung.  With spring comes the ritual forever known as spring cleaning.  This is when we review our lives and our dwellings and try to make them cleaner or less cluttered.  In my life, we are doing some remodeling on our home and I'm forging into the second half of my first year in my new career.

This year has brought so many blessings, but has also brought some heavy heartedness within our lives and those of some around us.  We carry with us the fondness of the memories, but we also still struggle with the grief at times.  During our own spring cleaning, perhaps we shed the grief and celebrate the memories and the mere presence these individuals had in our lives before we lost them!

Within my career, I have learned so much and continue to know and grow more every day.  As with any career and position, there are those days with challenges.  However, the chance to grow, help others in their own career journeys, and the friendships formed with my peers have forged a continuous striving for improvement, both within myself and for my team.

So, as we forge into the summer months, let's lose the heaviness of those things which burden us and embrace the chances given to us to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually!  My life is pretty great as it is, but can always use a little cleaning as well.  How about yours?

March Madness or Life Madness?

As we all hurry to complete our brackets and pick the winner in this tournament beginning in the next few days, we rearrange our lives to ensure we capture the experiences of these young men.  They are embarking on an adventure that so many boys dream of in back yards and parks across the country every summer.  A champion team will be crowned out of many teams who began their seasons hoping for a chance, just a chance, to hoist the trophy.  Only a handful will rejoice as champions, but they all will get to live the chance.  How awesome does that seem?  In the searing pain of defeat, young men will be hardened to try harder, work harder, be smarter, and grasp opportunity out of ruin.  Life lessons will be forged.  Seek opportunity in defeat and rejoice in the journey!

Looking at my life these days, I can say I rearranged my life in the same manner.  I can't ever say I have experienced anything like what these men are about to embark upon, but I've had my own adventures and lessons in life.  Not all were enjoyable or happy, but all were worth it.  My life journey could not have been scripted in any better manner, but such an unpredictable path it has been.

Yet, in all the crazy days, a sense of peace is abundant these days.  Yard work is upcoming, yet I can't wait.  My new career challenges me every day, yet I find myself growing into it and loving the challenge (well most days!), and my family...well, there is so much I can say here.  I am challenged every day to be the best I can be.  I find myself working to make life easier for them, yet I'm in total amazement when they do the same in return.  A dusty home is a great reminder that life is lived on the go, home is where you come to shower, change clothes, and go at it again.

So, as March Madness becomes about the game of basketball, take a few moments and look within your life and appreciate the madness in your march through life.  There may not be a trophy or nets to cut down at the end of our tournament of life, but the simple joy of getting to be part of it makes it all worth the work.  Don't you agree?

Springtime in Our Lives!

As we enter into spring from the winter months, we all start to shed the heavy clothing and rejoice in the lighter, warmer days of spring about to arrive.  We start thinking about cleaning out the closets and finding new outfits.  Spring and summer plans start to come to the forefront of our minds and we start to get a spring, pun intended, into our steps.  We emerge from hibernation and see our neighbors again, smile and wave.  Winter is part of the annual seasonal shifts and brings us Christmas, snowmen, and the Super Bowl.  Yet, its time has come to move along for 2013.  Let us get back outside and start living life to the fullest again!  We do this every year, but do we take the time to do this in our personal life as well?  Do we clean house and declutter our internal selves?

In "Bushels and Barrels," I speak of Spring as the renewal of life.  Our lives also have seasons and spring is when we renew ourselves and are full of energy.  We need to remove the "old" things in our lives which are holding us back from the eternal joy of living.  Shed your "coat" which you wear covering up who you are.  Be true to yourself and those around you will see your light shine as the wonderful human being, friend, family member, etc you are.

Winter was our time to catch our collective breath from going full steam during the spring and summer months and to reflect on our lives.  Now it's time to act upon those reflections.  I've seen some friends make significant life changes to improve themselves and I've been inspired.  Reach your arms out and upward...stretch them.  Reach as high as you can, then aim for higher.  By reaching outside your comfort zone, you grow.  By reaching upwards, you seek, and receive, guidance on how to grow and live a righteous life.

Outward and upward!  Reach.  Stretch.  Grow.  Live life!  I'm excited, are you?

Leadership Styles and Culture Shifts

Greetings and welcome to 2013 folks!  I hope the new year has been kind to you all thus far.  I've seen some challenges and some hardships faced by people I know and I ask for prayers for them and hope their year turns around and becomes one of happiness, fruitfulness, and love.

Now, to the topic of this particular entry...the art (and challenge) of leadership and the performance of such in differing environments.  I chose this topic as I have definitely been challenged as of late and wanted to find a way to express my thoughts in a generic way.  Having been educated via military training, bachelor and master degree programs, and simply work experience in leadership, I can concede there are multiple leadership styles and a person can, and should, utilize multiple styles depending on certain situations.

For example, if you have an employee, or a group of them, who performs at their peak or at least their highest level of effort, the coaching aspect of leadership comes into play.  You try to support that employee, help identify and tweak their minor mistakes, and become the cheerleader when they do quite well.  These employees are the ones whom make your job easiest and the most enjoyable.  Yet, unfortunately, it is these employees whom get such a small percentage of your time.  They are doing well, so their needs are not as great as other groups.  As leaders, it is our job to recognize this, take the extra moment or two, and ensure the efforts, results, and contributions are noticed to ensure the feeling of apathy does not settle in and we lose the valued employees to greener pastures.

Then on the entire opposite end of the spectrum are the employees whom take up the majority of your time...those that really don't want to be there.  This group is my struggle in my transition from military to civilian.  The military is made up of a large group the same as a large corporation, yet the approach and culture is completely different.  In the military, should someone display behavior which is detrimental to the advancement of the unit or the branch of service, it is dealt with swiftly.  I'm not saying the individual is dealt with, per se, but the behavior is.  If the military deems the individual has qualities which can contribute to improving and becoming a meaningful member, the "punishment" is much different than for those whom show no desire to belong...those members are also helped along to their desired outcome, discharge.  However, in the civilian world, things are so much more gray than the black and white I'm used to.

Within the civilian world, there are many more concerns and impacts to a decision when trying to figure out a course of action for an employee not displaying the attributes of a model performer.  Here, items such as length of employment, history of behavior, severity of actions, and (sadly enough), threat of legal actions come into play.  While there are some similarities between the military and civilian worlds, the differences are noticeable, yet not so different that the gaps catch you.  The very fact that policies, procedures, and avenues for both sides provide protection and clear-cut expectations close the gaps.  If the leader maintains impartiality, follows set and written procedures, and chooses his/her leadership style to properly match the situation, the "company" will be better for it.

Patience is a test which can be difficult to master, but is necessary in these situations.  I'm learning that all over again...and again.  Those whom want to be in the corporate "family" will follow the expectations.  Those that don't want to follow expectations will eventually find somewhere else to be.  The patience to deal with the situations in the meantime is a quality I need to learn to develop and hone.

I wanted a career which would provide me with a challenge in order to develop me personally and professionally.  The challenge is being presented in a fashion I did not forecast, yet it is what I asked for (sort of).  I have been given this challenge because it is my test to pass.  This is my opportunity to rise above the fray, face the challenge, lead the team through this, and leave those whom choose not to join by the way side.  The organization will be better for this renewed focus, the team will be better, and I will become a better, stronger, and more productive leader as well.

Now, to enjoy the weekend, regroup, refocus, and enter the fray again on Monday!

2012 Holiday Season and 2013 Preparations

As we all finalize our preparations for the Christmas traditions held true and dear for each family we belong to, let's all remember to reflect on the seasons past and prepare for the adventures moving forward. Looking throughout this past year, there are those whom Kristine, Jade, and I are still very close with and those whom we have drifted away from, to a certain degree. There are also those out there I haven't personally seen in years, and I'm sure the same is true for Kristine.

2012 brought with it many challenges, to say the least, for our family. I spent the majority of the year searching for an identity, career, and source of income with which to support the family. I explored almost every option imaginable...I explored insurance sales, several different franchising opportunities, and interviewed for multiple career opportunities. Yet none of them seemed to be right for me and the family. Through the graces of God, my financial situation allowed me to be choosy and find the right fit for me and the career I would embark upon. In February, I embarked upon a large project which had been laid upon my heart, to write a book. This became a full-time endeavor that took me well into June. Finally, "Bushels and Barrels - Redefining the American Dream" was published in June. In early September, I awoke to begin the day searching for work when I received an email stating my resume had been seen on a military recruiting website. I was then recruited, interviewed, and offered a position which I ultimately accepted. There is no looking back and my life, future, and career took off! I had learned a valuable lesson that I define my life, but the career helps me travel the journey I lay out for myself and my family. But this wasn't just a year of Lee in the household, oh no...Jade and Kristine also enjoyed a banner year.

Kristine spent most of 2012 being the primary bread winner, mother to Jade, and loving, supporting wife to me. She celebrated her 14th year of her career with ThinkTv and still loves what she does...an achievement many of us can only aspire to! She continued to support Jade's athletic teams as an Assistant Coach to the St Helen volleyball team and spent her 5th year coaching cheerleading. Through these activities, Kristine and I have become the "parents" to many a young lady who are friends with Jade when they come over for sleepovers. One of her main highlights of the year was the celebration of our 2nd year anniversary. If you know her, you know she is a huge Ohio State Buckeye fan! We departed early in the morning for an early November game at the Buckeye stadium, affectionately known as the Shoe. We arrived at our hotel and took a cab into the Columbus, Ohio campus area for tailgating. Lots of fun and people celebrating the upcoming game. Then we got to experience a show from the band and I got to watch Kristine get excited as Coach Urban Meyer and the football team entered the indoor arena to rally the fans. Afterwards, we experienced a great game in an awesome stadium which can't be rivaled by many. After yet another victory on the way to 12-0, we returned to the hotel and found a great restaurant to finish the day out. Yes, this was a great escape and highlight of the year for us as a couple.

Jade can't be left out as she left childhood and entered her official teenage years. She is half way through her 7th grade and is highly successful thus far. The letter "A" and her report card are best friends this year...can we say proud? She also holds an incredible honor of being runner-up in her Geography Bee. She also elevated from elementary school in her athletic activities to cheer her first year in the Carroll High School 7th grade squad. Early in the new year, she'll also continue her volleyball career. As if her academic and athletic careers didn't keep her busy enough, she's also continued her hectic social schedule as well. Lots of friends, sleepovers, conversations, and new infatuations with British bands have dominated 2012 for her.

As a collective family, we deem 2012 as a ginormous success! Even the puppies, Duncan and Polar Bear, got into the swing of things by getting used to having dad around all day and then readjusting to greeting him happily at the door at the end of the day. Spoiled doesn't even begin to explain them.

I hope you and yours have also had a successful and blessed year! Struggles are a part of life and we all have to survive them to get to the next day. It is in finding blessings in every day, every week, and every month, do we see the bigger picture of a successful year. The Ray family holds each and every one of you as near and dear friends...and even family. We love you guys and can't wait to be part of your lives as you are a part of ours in 2013.

Merry Christmas to all!

Thankful? Yes, yes I am!

Happy Thanksgiving to all you bloggers out there and those reading our blogs!  This is the time of year when people begin to reflect on what they have instead of what they don't.  This is a unique shift from the normal in our society today, but a great example of what we should attempt to do every single day.  Even though my book tries to retrain the brain to look at the positives and to minimize and survive the negatives, it's good to see society take time out to do the exact same thing.

In my life, I am so thankful for my family...all of them.  From my sisters, dad, cousins, aunts, and uncles still residing in Virginia to my son living in California...we cover the coasts of this great nation.  Then there is my family I married into.  My amazingly special wife, such an incredible step-daughter (rarely is this term used with respect to her though), and the in-laws...each and every one of them are part of my blessings.

And this year, my first full year of civilian life after the military, I have to give thanks to all those friends who also kept me uplifted and encouraged while searching for work.  During that time, Bushels and Barrels was written reminding myself and others whom have read my book to focus on the positive and good things will happen.  This group of people have made an imprint into my life and I am thankful for all of them.  Whether they be in person or through social media, a bond is strengthened when you lift each other up and hold each other in high regard.

For the past two months, I have begun my new journey in my professional world.  I am creating an identity within the company and gaining confidence in my abilities each and every day.  There are still much to learn, but I've learned so much and come so far in such a short period of time.  Having time between careers allowed me to enter this opportunity with hunger, desire, and confidence.  To know each day that my decisions and actions affect the careers of the 20+ people whom directly report to me is such an honor and responsibility.  I take this responsibility seriously and feel good they have accepted me and we work well as a team.  With every team, there can be those challenging individuals, but even they deserve the best I have, whether that be to mold them, assist them in their jouney to another career where they are better suited, or just handling their challenges professionally.  Each day is an opportunity to be a reflection of my motto:  Positive Perspectives Produce Positive People.

As I look over this past year, I am thankful for every day of it.  Count your blessings on the good days.  Learn the lessons given in the bad days.  Both types of days build us into better people.  Learn, improve, strengthen, and most importantly, love.  Have a great day, ya'll!

It's Tough Being the New Kid on the Block

Have you ever changed schools, job, or neighborhood?  If so, you know the feeling I speak of when I say you have to break into the inner circle.  Friendships are already formed and routines are established and you have to be quiet, patient, and observant to gain acceptance.

I continue to learn the nuances of my new career, the actions required of me every day, and the balance of being able to do it all simultaneously.  Or that's the way it seems to feel at times right now.  I know it will take time and to give myself patience, but it seems too daunting at times.  Give me about five years and I'll read this and fondly remember the struggles and chuckle.  That's what I know will happen.

The people have been nothing less than amazing and they are slowly becoming more than just teammates, they are becoming friends.  I can see myself with this company for the remainder of my working years.  Yet, it will be some time before I'm including in the "remember when" moments...yet, that is ok.  I'm enjoying the journey.

I'm enjoying the new relationships forming and the challenge that comes with learning each day.  I'm enjoying bringing a positive attitude and my military work ethic every day.  There was a reason they chose me for this position and God brought it to my doorstep.  I just need to keep reminding myself on those days when I feel lost that I can do this and I will do this...patience is something I've become best friends with this past year, so we can do this together.

So, if you're in the same situation or get into one in your future...enjoy the journey, we've all been there and the memories can't be made without living through the moments of life.  As I say with most things...it really is this simple!

Life's Seasonal Shifts and God's Lessons

Good evening, my friends!  This entry carries with it many updates and thoughts to ponder.  I do believe the seasonal shift from summer to fall is but one major shift in my life this year.  As October rolls in and the temperatures start their decline and the leaves change to much brighter colors and descend to the ground, we savor life and the positives of the fall season...football, sweaters, bonfires, chilly air, beautiful nature scenes, and the approach of the holiday season.  Man, does life get any better?  This year, I would have to say...no, no life just can't get any better!

I also just began my civilian career after spending 365 days from the time I left the Air Force looking for my new job.  There are two parts of this which make it amazing.  The first reason why this is awesome news is that I didn't even find this career, it found me and I kept my options open and explored the opportunity being afforded me and now I feel I have my last career which should take me to retirement years from now.  The second part which is amazing is the number of opportunities presented to me within the past two weeks since I accepted the position.  One job offered was done after I pursued that position for about a year with no luck.  God really does put us where He wants us and He does it when He wants us there as well.  I was constantly reminded to keep the faith, some days were much easier than others though.  He again has taught me to have faith in Him and lift all my concerns to Him and He will soothe me, support me, and provide for me.  As I am the father of this household, He is my Father whom I should obey, trust, love, and honor.

The other event which reminds me of how completely blessed my life is comes with the arrival of my second anniversary with my beautiful and completely awesome bride/wife.  There will never be a day in my life from now on where I forget the feeling I had when she entered the room on her dad's arm in her wedding dress and I knew she was going to be joining me at the end of the aisle and in life.  Although unemployment isn't life threatening or any such thing, she was my rock this past year and defined the role of "for better or worse."  I know that no matter what happens in our future, as long as I honor and cherish her, my life will never be without her in it.

Finally, I can say I love everything about my life.  In the past, there was always a hole somewhere in there.  Something just seemed to be missing, but no longer.  I have God guiding my life and teaching me daily a lesson which makes me a better person, man, brother, father, husband, and employee...among other things.  My priorities are straight and my perspective has been realigned to remind me to enjoy life and all it has to offer.  For those struggling, it isn't always going to stay difficult...embrace those who love you and cling to those things which lift you when you need it.  I love my life the way it is right now.  If nothing ever changed, I could, would, and will be content.  However, should life require me to face another challenge, so be it.  I know I now have the tools, support, and knowledge to not only survive the adversity, but to thrive through it as well.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me through the highs and lows of the past several years.  My life is definitely enriched by having you in it.  I love you all!!