Has it been eight months since I've written? Seriously?? So much has happened this year and reflecting back on it, 2015 is wrapping up to be a banner year for our family, for me, and for renewed relationships.
We moved...new home, new neighborhood, new friends, yet keeping all the best of the old. Not even knowing we were going to do this, we purchased a new home, sold our old home, moved, settled in, and love our new lives without forgetting what got us here...each other and our commitment to each other first and foremost. There were times during the process, I'm sure Kristine would have loved to strangle me, but she didn't and I'm thankful for that. Now, we're settled in and learning to enjoy our new home and life.
Jade is driving! Seriously folks, how did this happen?? Colleges are starting to recruit her! How in the world can this be happening already? Yet, it seems to be right. She's making good decisions, thinking through her processes, and enjoying being a teenager. We're laying the foundation and she's building a beautiful model of what her life is going to look like...compassion, consideration, responsibility, and enjoyment. Balance and awareness, that's all we can show her, the rest is up to her and she appears to be watching, listening, and heeding.
Ryan and grandpa. Here are two men in my personal life that mean more to me than anyone in my current life could know without knowing me back in my younger days. Having both of them come back into my life this summer has fulfilled me in a way I didn't know I was empty. Being able to share them with Kristine and Jade...priceless.
Kristine. This woman never ceases to amaze me! She loves unconditionally and completely. I will work with everything in me everyday to ensure she has what makes her happy because that's what she does for me. We just celebrated our five year anniversary, but we've experienced so many new "firsts" still this year, I can't wait to see what our list entails in the next year.
A wonderful year thus far. So much going on, but the blessings are bountiful and plenty. Taking care of family has been central this year and the results speak for themselves. Sometimes the simple things are the big things. Positive perspective produces positive people...the proof is in the pudding!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
How Fragile is Life, Even When Lived Fully
Ok, so it's been a while since I've written...and I missed it. But I wasn't ready to write and that makes a huge difference to me. I simply cannot write just to be writing. Why wasn't I ready? Something in me changed, fundamentally changed. We've all dealt with the loss of a loved one and we all, eventually, find a way to move forward again. The same has happened with me. However, this past loss seemed to be different and I wasn't sure how or why. Heck, I wasn't even aware of how it affected me for some time.
Why was the loss of my father-in-law this past October so hard? What made this more difficult for me? Now that I think about it, the answer is simple...my life and my family and my age. In order to help honor a fellow veteran and pay respects to a hard-working man, I helped to arrange his funeral, helped my wife through the myriad of paperwork and legal filings to finalize the estate, and simply held my wife when she cried. These are the simple things that any decent and loving husband would do, and I did them without a thought. Yet, it changed me.
Much of the process was made so much easier by a thoughtful man whom was no longer with us planning out every aspect of other's lives when he was no longer with us. And that was a stark reminder to me that I should, must, and will do this for my own family. Yet, what is right? When is right? When should I decide how my own funeral will be? How do I determine my final resting place? How do I ensure my family is financial secure while still alive and planning for my own retirement currently? Stress entered the equation...I want to do it all right, but what is right?
Then I realized what I was doing to myself...and stopped. Having open and honest conversations with your loved ones is a sufficient start. We can then methodically move through the items that are most important. Establishing a will, a living will, reviewing life insurance needs, knowing where all the papers, account numbers, and benefits are located. It's a process, just like life, not a checklist to be completed instantaneously.
When 2015 ends, my family will be more prepared, all because of the example set by a loving husband, father, and human being. However, 2015 will also find many celebrations, new memories, and successes. Prepare, but don't be consumed!
Why was the loss of my father-in-law this past October so hard? What made this more difficult for me? Now that I think about it, the answer is simple...my life and my family and my age. In order to help honor a fellow veteran and pay respects to a hard-working man, I helped to arrange his funeral, helped my wife through the myriad of paperwork and legal filings to finalize the estate, and simply held my wife when she cried. These are the simple things that any decent and loving husband would do, and I did them without a thought. Yet, it changed me.
Much of the process was made so much easier by a thoughtful man whom was no longer with us planning out every aspect of other's lives when he was no longer with us. And that was a stark reminder to me that I should, must, and will do this for my own family. Yet, what is right? When is right? When should I decide how my own funeral will be? How do I determine my final resting place? How do I ensure my family is financial secure while still alive and planning for my own retirement currently? Stress entered the equation...I want to do it all right, but what is right?
Then I realized what I was doing to myself...and stopped. Having open and honest conversations with your loved ones is a sufficient start. We can then methodically move through the items that are most important. Establishing a will, a living will, reviewing life insurance needs, knowing where all the papers, account numbers, and benefits are located. It's a process, just like life, not a checklist to be completed instantaneously.
When 2015 ends, my family will be more prepared, all because of the example set by a loving husband, father, and human being. However, 2015 will also find many celebrations, new memories, and successes. Prepare, but don't be consumed!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Living and Recovering from Hearing Loss
Hello out there, world! Have you ever experience a major life event
which altered the course of your life and you simply accepted it and
took it in stride? This is just what was planned for your life and
you were going to accept it, learn it, deal with it, and move on. I
thought I could do just that after suffering from viral labyrinthitis
in October 2013 and permanently losing all hearing function of my left
ear. It was that sudden. I went to bed fine and woke up deaf in the
left. After a short period of time, I adapted to only hearing out of
my right ear and went on about finding a fix to minimize this and
allowing me to return to life as I knew it before that morning.
After several months of hearing test confirming the hearing would not
be returning and this issue needed a course of action instead of
patience while it returned, I sought out solutions. Without any
explanations, I was given the blunt diagnosis, “you can either use
hearing aids or get a screw in your skull.” That was it, she left the
room right after this and I had no clue what she meant by the screw in
the skull. How frightening! Of course, I went home, did some of my
own research and found out that the BAHA surgery was this infamous
screw she spoke about so abruptly. With time, hundreds of hours of my
own research, and lots of questions, this screw in my head became
reality on August 15, 2014. I became an implant recipient. Once it
healed and I was activated, I’d be back on the road to life and all
its glory with no issues…another challenge overcome.
Then a bout of depression started to set in without warning. If
things weren’t perfect, I was upset. I simply was not going to accept
that activation was going to be delayed. It didn’t work into my plans
and recovery expectations. How dare things get screwed up! I was
mad…livid even. Sure, it was only going to be a slight delay, but I
just wasn’t going to have it! Then I started getting frustrated at
everything around me. My life is so blessed, but I couldn’t see it at
that moment. Then in a moment of clarity, I did see it. Physically,
I was healing just fine. But I was taking the time to conduct proper
wound care. What I wasn’t doing was tending to my mental and
emotional wounds. I simply did not have time to hurt emotionally,
life is simply too busy for that!
Ok, now that I realized I had this other set of injuries unknown to
me, how do I deal with them? Was I angry because I lost my hearing in
the first place? Was it because it took so long and was so difficult
to get help and resolution? Was it because I was scared of the
unknown? Why was I so angry when life is so good to me? In my life,
my release and escape is writing. Always has been, always will be.
So, with all these thoughts jumbled in my mind, I sat down at the
computer, opened my blog, closed my eyes and let my fingers just type
what my brain told them. There were no sentences or structure. There
were no spelling checks to interrupt. Feelings flowing with eyes
closed to eliminate distraction. Release. After I was done, I walked
away for a bit to cope with the drain of emotions, but happy I had
allowed them to not suppress any longer. Then I returned and read
what I had wrote, “there are those times during the day when in
solitude it still hits us...we are forever different than before.”
Now that I read this and understood how it was changing me, it was
acceptable. Once I realized I had these fears, pains, anxieties, and
realizations, I could then talk about them. I then reshaped the blog
to structure, spelling, and clarity and then posted with the title,
“Healing: It’s More Than the Physical.” Now, others whom had
experienced the same physical obstacles could also share in their
stories of how to overcome. Therapy was about to commence. Little
did I know the response would be so tremendous! Quite a few comments
were posted of people saying they knew they were hurting, but didn’t
know how or why…this explained so much to so many. Understanding your
injuries helps you begin to treat them so they heal. Now, we can all
heal together. This was, and still is, my therapy.
As I continue to heal, helping others do the same is a passion I’m
learning has its own powers of pain reduction. We all have survived
so much, no matter our story, but we all hurt still at times. It is
ok, we deserve to understand, empathize, and heal with others like us.
We are connected now, if not before. We lift each other without
question and reach out when it is our turn to need support. Do not
ever hesitate to reach out, there are so many ready to provide that
helping hand. They’ve done it for me. I’ll do it for them. We all
will do it for you. Heal, we have to in order to be strong and not
bitter. Talk, write, pray, seek out therapy or support groups, but
don’t suppress it. We are stronger together, we have done so much, we
will do this too…it simply cannot and will not be any other way. I
will be healed, you will be healed, we will be healed!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Simplification: Catchphrase or Way of Life
Simplification. Is this a catch phrase or is there logic behind it? In business, absolutely. How about in our personal lives? We add more and more, do more and more, schedule more and more. Life is short we tell ourselves, we must get the most out of every day. But seriously...doesn't that wear us down, break us down, and perhaps even shorten that life that is already too short. Can we do too much? Plan too much? Heck yeah, we can! I'm at that point!
This year has included so much outside the normal work schedule and family items. There was refinancing the house, getting all new windows, new shades, new furniture, painting two rooms, repainting a room, and the entire exterior being painted. Take a breath...now, we've attended multiple MLB baseball games, basketball tournaments, planning football games, hosted cookouts, attended cookouts, and went camping. Whew! Oh yeah, don't forget a vacation to two states, anniversary trip coming up, out of town surgery, and a conference for work.
Every single bit of that has been, or will be, great! Even the surgery as I've work towards that for almost a full year as well. I'm tired. I can't blame anyone else for my exhaustion. We do these things to ourselves. What next? That's right, simplification.
Next year will be...plan much less, say no a little more, let a little more of my life be unplanned and explore a tad more. Yes, simplification. That's my promise to myself...my goal for my sanity. Yes, it will still be blessed and full of fun and excitement, but it shall be much less planned, chaotic, and demanding. The grill will get used more. The alarm clock will get used less.
Yes, scaling and cutting back is the way it has to be. Simplify to amplify...that's 2015 for me. How about you?
This year has included so much outside the normal work schedule and family items. There was refinancing the house, getting all new windows, new shades, new furniture, painting two rooms, repainting a room, and the entire exterior being painted. Take a breath...now, we've attended multiple MLB baseball games, basketball tournaments, planning football games, hosted cookouts, attended cookouts, and went camping. Whew! Oh yeah, don't forget a vacation to two states, anniversary trip coming up, out of town surgery, and a conference for work.
Every single bit of that has been, or will be, great! Even the surgery as I've work towards that for almost a full year as well. I'm tired. I can't blame anyone else for my exhaustion. We do these things to ourselves. What next? That's right, simplification.
Next year will be...plan much less, say no a little more, let a little more of my life be unplanned and explore a tad more. Yes, simplification. That's my promise to myself...my goal for my sanity. Yes, it will still be blessed and full of fun and excitement, but it shall be much less planned, chaotic, and demanding. The grill will get used more. The alarm clock will get used less.
Yes, scaling and cutting back is the way it has to be. Simplify to amplify...that's 2015 for me. How about you?
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Have You Walked a Mile Yet?
There is an old adage that states to understand someone is to walk a mile in their shoes. That was never meant literally, but was meant to stress not judging people and urging an understanding into how people feel, think, and respond. What makes someone tick? Why do they do certain things? No one knows how any certain individual will react to a situation or why. However, the adage does have value, even more so in today's environment and society. Why? Social media, technology, and a desire to understand are the tools used widely on the high road and the path to a positive outcome.
Let's take a look at each one individually and then we'll realize how their cumulative effect molds our understanding and reaction to things we don't have a firsthand knowledge of. Social media can be a harmful instrument when used to bully, extort, and misdirect persons. However, when you are in short supply of understanding or answers, it is a natural go-to weapon in today's educational arsenal. I know I used it when I was diagnosed with viral labrynthitus. What the heck is that? I didn't know, but I did know it wasn't a good thing...but since I had never heard of it, was it rare or widely known? When I was finally able to focus and overcome the vertigo, I immersed myself into Google, WebMD, etc. I learned so much about what was going on with me and what could be the worst case scenarios. Unfortunately, one of the worst cases was hearing loss in at least one ear. I ended up as one of those "fortunate" people. However, others suffer from vertigo for months or years and cannot function or work. That was something I was lucky enough to learn how to overcome quickly by pushing myself to relearn how to walk, move, and function with the inner ear balance loss in my left ear.
Social media then continued to assist me. When I was told my hearing loss was permanent, the technician told me my choices were either hearing aids or to have a screw put into my head. Say what?!? Then when I learned the "screw in your head" was a cochlear implant, or bone conduction implanted device, I quickly got educated on the different devices, how they worked, the advancements in deafness treatments and the improvements in the devices, and I finally watched the surgery I was considering to make my decision. After using social media, my new disability seemed so much less scary and daunting. I now owned it instead of reacting to it. I made the decisions that impacted my life again. I was no longer forced to just accept my circumstances and situation. Social media had done its job!
Then, technology has to do its job to help that mile walk happen. Deafness, to me, was an absence of hearing which was overcome with sign language and attitude. Holy cow, even with only Single-Sided Deafness (SSD), how much I've learned about how little I knew. Many individuals today have come together with research, education, gumption, and technology to overcome this lost sense in their life. Bilateral deafness is hearing loss in both ears. What did they miss in their lives? Imagine not hearing your loved one's voice, the birds and bees in the summertime, the warning siren of a fire truck, or the tunes of your favorite musician. Amongst many other items, these are some of them. Yet, with technology today, these are items which they can rediscover, or hear for the very first time. I've had SSD for only six months now and am learning the road to recovery and am networking with those whom have traveled this road already, some of them traveling the technological road to hearing their entire lives. They, to me, are the pioneers I get to benefit from now. I hope to be that inspiration, example, and support for others in the future as they traverse their troubles and struggles. I wrote "Bushels and Barrels" several years ago and based it off of life's struggles and how to overcome them and remain positive by looking beyond the challenges to recognize the blessings of life. I never knew I would be tested to this extreme, but having that in my toolkit of experiences allowed me to see that I am blessed and can do such much more with this new "point of connection" with those struggling in life.
Technology has made it so those whom cannot hear naturally now can hear those sounds we take for granted. Even better, in a more natural sound and distinction of direction from which the sound travels. Science and engineering has come such a long way. I am still awaiting final approval for the implant surgery, but am now wearing my new hearing aids. They are helping me already, and they are so minimal, it's almost like they aren't even there. They are giving me so much more back than they are requiring of me with respect to care, maintenance, and comfort. I was with a group of my friends over the past few days, they didn't even realize I had the devices on, but I felt so much more a part of the conversation again. I was no longer isolated when positioned at a place of disadvantage at the gathering table. When meeting with a group of individuals at a support and educational gathering in the past few days, what an inspiration these individuals were. There were those from eight months in age all the way to 71 years young. Different experiences and reasons they had lost their hearing, but all together because technology was fixing that very thing for them. I was a newbie in a world of those advanced and aided by technology. What an adventure and a pleasure to be part of this. I am blessed and my world is larger because of this journey!
Finally, a desire to understand is essential in overcoming an obstacle. Researching via social media and meetings has given me a comfort in my new world. There are so many others with larger challenges than I have and they are so positive because they understand their situation. Their knowledge gives them comfort and control. I now also have that. Walking a mile in the shoes of deafness has been only the beginning of my new journey, but I now have tools to made that journey a smooth ride, walk, hike, and journey. What walk have you taken lately and what tools have you used in that journey? What has it "forced" you to learn? What understanding and appreciation do you have because of this journey? What do you plan to do with this new knowledge and confidence? Own it, share it, and recreate it in others! That is my challenge in hearing loss, what is yours?
Let's take a look at each one individually and then we'll realize how their cumulative effect molds our understanding and reaction to things we don't have a firsthand knowledge of. Social media can be a harmful instrument when used to bully, extort, and misdirect persons. However, when you are in short supply of understanding or answers, it is a natural go-to weapon in today's educational arsenal. I know I used it when I was diagnosed with viral labrynthitus. What the heck is that? I didn't know, but I did know it wasn't a good thing...but since I had never heard of it, was it rare or widely known? When I was finally able to focus and overcome the vertigo, I immersed myself into Google, WebMD, etc. I learned so much about what was going on with me and what could be the worst case scenarios. Unfortunately, one of the worst cases was hearing loss in at least one ear. I ended up as one of those "fortunate" people. However, others suffer from vertigo for months or years and cannot function or work. That was something I was lucky enough to learn how to overcome quickly by pushing myself to relearn how to walk, move, and function with the inner ear balance loss in my left ear.
Social media then continued to assist me. When I was told my hearing loss was permanent, the technician told me my choices were either hearing aids or to have a screw put into my head. Say what?!? Then when I learned the "screw in your head" was a cochlear implant, or bone conduction implanted device, I quickly got educated on the different devices, how they worked, the advancements in deafness treatments and the improvements in the devices, and I finally watched the surgery I was considering to make my decision. After using social media, my new disability seemed so much less scary and daunting. I now owned it instead of reacting to it. I made the decisions that impacted my life again. I was no longer forced to just accept my circumstances and situation. Social media had done its job!
Then, technology has to do its job to help that mile walk happen. Deafness, to me, was an absence of hearing which was overcome with sign language and attitude. Holy cow, even with only Single-Sided Deafness (SSD), how much I've learned about how little I knew. Many individuals today have come together with research, education, gumption, and technology to overcome this lost sense in their life. Bilateral deafness is hearing loss in both ears. What did they miss in their lives? Imagine not hearing your loved one's voice, the birds and bees in the summertime, the warning siren of a fire truck, or the tunes of your favorite musician. Amongst many other items, these are some of them. Yet, with technology today, these are items which they can rediscover, or hear for the very first time. I've had SSD for only six months now and am learning the road to recovery and am networking with those whom have traveled this road already, some of them traveling the technological road to hearing their entire lives. They, to me, are the pioneers I get to benefit from now. I hope to be that inspiration, example, and support for others in the future as they traverse their troubles and struggles. I wrote "Bushels and Barrels" several years ago and based it off of life's struggles and how to overcome them and remain positive by looking beyond the challenges to recognize the blessings of life. I never knew I would be tested to this extreme, but having that in my toolkit of experiences allowed me to see that I am blessed and can do such much more with this new "point of connection" with those struggling in life.
Technology has made it so those whom cannot hear naturally now can hear those sounds we take for granted. Even better, in a more natural sound and distinction of direction from which the sound travels. Science and engineering has come such a long way. I am still awaiting final approval for the implant surgery, but am now wearing my new hearing aids. They are helping me already, and they are so minimal, it's almost like they aren't even there. They are giving me so much more back than they are requiring of me with respect to care, maintenance, and comfort. I was with a group of my friends over the past few days, they didn't even realize I had the devices on, but I felt so much more a part of the conversation again. I was no longer isolated when positioned at a place of disadvantage at the gathering table. When meeting with a group of individuals at a support and educational gathering in the past few days, what an inspiration these individuals were. There were those from eight months in age all the way to 71 years young. Different experiences and reasons they had lost their hearing, but all together because technology was fixing that very thing for them. I was a newbie in a world of those advanced and aided by technology. What an adventure and a pleasure to be part of this. I am blessed and my world is larger because of this journey!
Finally, a desire to understand is essential in overcoming an obstacle. Researching via social media and meetings has given me a comfort in my new world. There are so many others with larger challenges than I have and they are so positive because they understand their situation. Their knowledge gives them comfort and control. I now also have that. Walking a mile in the shoes of deafness has been only the beginning of my new journey, but I now have tools to made that journey a smooth ride, walk, hike, and journey. What walk have you taken lately and what tools have you used in that journey? What has it "forced" you to learn? What understanding and appreciation do you have because of this journey? What do you plan to do with this new knowledge and confidence? Own it, share it, and recreate it in others! That is my challenge in hearing loss, what is yours?
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
An Age of Entitlement? I Think Not!
Hello! It's been quite a while since I've written, but that doesn't mean there isn't things to write about. Life has been so busy and blessed, I love where life and God has taken me. Within my life now, I get a chance to interact with and work with individuals of all backgrounds and ages. There are many whom want to learn the right thing, there are those whom teach the right thing, and then there are those whom will do whatever it takes to avoid doing anything...much less the right thing. But the overall assumption that this is the age of entitlement is far from correct.
I have encountered those whom will do absolutely everything to avoid performing the very activities they were hired to perform. Yet, these individuals are such the minority. Yes, they take a ton of time to manage, document, and defend against. But man-o-man, are there so many of the younger generations ready to step up and learn life lessons and do their jobs exceptionally well at the same time.
I'm still learning...every day, I learn. I love my job and career and where it could potentially take me. Yet, what inspires me more and takes me to work is getting to help younger individuals create priorities in their life, build budgets, understand the importance of honor, and creating networks. Forgiveness and flexibility have become a larger part of my vocabulary and actions within the past year as I've learned how to lead a team of civilians and not military members. And that is ok, I've grown, they are growing...and the metrics are improving every time I look.
Outside work, watching my daughter and her friends learn and embrace community outreach, servitude, and responsibility. It is a society where the village parenting concept is alive in the world I'm in now. Maybe not everyone's, but it is in mine. I love how other parents trust my wife and I to help raise their kids and we trust them in the same fashion.
As America's population gets older and the youth are challenged, they will rise. If you tell them they can have things without having to work, of course, they will take it. Wouldn't you? Yet, you teach them to work hard, have pride, and learn from mistakes, you will be surprised, proud, and restored in faith. We are ok!
Let's rid our lives of those whom only take, share with those wanting to learn, and stretch for those willing to make mistakes to grow. This includes yourself...shape your life this year to be one willing to stretch, grow, learn, and prosper.
I have encountered those whom will do absolutely everything to avoid performing the very activities they were hired to perform. Yet, these individuals are such the minority. Yes, they take a ton of time to manage, document, and defend against. But man-o-man, are there so many of the younger generations ready to step up and learn life lessons and do their jobs exceptionally well at the same time.
I'm still learning...every day, I learn. I love my job and career and where it could potentially take me. Yet, what inspires me more and takes me to work is getting to help younger individuals create priorities in their life, build budgets, understand the importance of honor, and creating networks. Forgiveness and flexibility have become a larger part of my vocabulary and actions within the past year as I've learned how to lead a team of civilians and not military members. And that is ok, I've grown, they are growing...and the metrics are improving every time I look.
Outside work, watching my daughter and her friends learn and embrace community outreach, servitude, and responsibility. It is a society where the village parenting concept is alive in the world I'm in now. Maybe not everyone's, but it is in mine. I love how other parents trust my wife and I to help raise their kids and we trust them in the same fashion.
As America's population gets older and the youth are challenged, they will rise. If you tell them they can have things without having to work, of course, they will take it. Wouldn't you? Yet, you teach them to work hard, have pride, and learn from mistakes, you will be surprised, proud, and restored in faith. We are ok!
Let's rid our lives of those whom only take, share with those wanting to learn, and stretch for those willing to make mistakes to grow. This includes yourself...shape your life this year to be one willing to stretch, grow, learn, and prosper.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Christmas 2013 Reflections
As we start the process of closing 2013 out, we also take the time to reflect on family, our lives, our blessings, and take stock in our friends and our faith. I love this about this time of year!
We've had some blessings this year...plenty of family time at sporting events, watching Jade enter into her last year before high school, she cheered her football team to a championship, we added a young cat to our family, and so much more!
We faced a few challenges this year as well...I lost all ability to hear in my left ear, we lost some loved ones from our lives, and have many others in our lives struggling with their own personal struggles we pray for and about daily.
However, what we know this time of year...each day we're given is a blessing. I love every day I get to wake up to my family knowing I love them and they love me back. Man, what a feeling! Life has been such a struggle in the past for me, but this past year has been so much closer to "normal" than I've had in almost ever.
May God bless each and every one of you and hold you close to him while you travel to and from to visit family and friends. Have a most Merry of Christmases and remember why this season exists and take a moment or two on Christmas morning to reflect on that fact before digging into all those presents and such.
Bushels and Barrels to all in 2013!
We've had some blessings this year...plenty of family time at sporting events, watching Jade enter into her last year before high school, she cheered her football team to a championship, we added a young cat to our family, and so much more!
We faced a few challenges this year as well...I lost all ability to hear in my left ear, we lost some loved ones from our lives, and have many others in our lives struggling with their own personal struggles we pray for and about daily.
However, what we know this time of year...each day we're given is a blessing. I love every day I get to wake up to my family knowing I love them and they love me back. Man, what a feeling! Life has been such a struggle in the past for me, but this past year has been so much closer to "normal" than I've had in almost ever.
May God bless each and every one of you and hold you close to him while you travel to and from to visit family and friends. Have a most Merry of Christmases and remember why this season exists and take a moment or two on Christmas morning to reflect on that fact before digging into all those presents and such.
Bushels and Barrels to all in 2013!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Veterans Day 2013 Reflections
A band of brothers and sisters? Most definitely! Lifetime memories and stories of places visited...many of which were not of our choosing? Again, most definitely. An honor that we all chose and would do again in a heartbeat? Absolutely!
1995 - 2011 were years of my life where I gave freely, but gained so much more in return. As I go through my daily life, service to our country is a linkage to many of the most honorable of my friends and family. The uniform of a military service member, the scrubs of a hospital employee, the dedication of EMT's, firefighters, and police offiers are all signs of what is right in our country today.
As I still struggle with what being a veteran means two years later, I am so proud and humbled to have served with some of America's finest sons and daughters. I've raised drinks with perfect strangers all because of this bond. I've given business to small companies simply because of this bond. I've come to understand that we are a breed that is sought after and desired. We are trustworthy, we are honorable, we are veterans.
Thank you so much for all those over the years whom had my six, and my friends and family of veterans whom still do. I will always be here to do the same. In a day set aside to remember us and what we've done...I come with a challenge. Pay it forward...honor those whom served, yes...but also find someone about to join and ensure he or she understands the signficance of this day for them as well. They will be the future, and the future looks good on them.
I would list out some of those most special to me, but I would most definitely forget someone along the way and that is a risk I will not take. Thank you to all whom served before me and paved the way with your sacrifices, thank you to all whom served with me over the years and helped mold me into whom I am today, and thank you to all those whom choose to served after me, for it is you whom we shall look up to in the years to come and will support you as we've been supported. We've got your Six!
1995 - 2011 were years of my life where I gave freely, but gained so much more in return. As I go through my daily life, service to our country is a linkage to many of the most honorable of my friends and family. The uniform of a military service member, the scrubs of a hospital employee, the dedication of EMT's, firefighters, and police offiers are all signs of what is right in our country today.
As I still struggle with what being a veteran means two years later, I am so proud and humbled to have served with some of America's finest sons and daughters. I've raised drinks with perfect strangers all because of this bond. I've given business to small companies simply because of this bond. I've come to understand that we are a breed that is sought after and desired. We are trustworthy, we are honorable, we are veterans.
Thank you so much for all those over the years whom had my six, and my friends and family of veterans whom still do. I will always be here to do the same. In a day set aside to remember us and what we've done...I come with a challenge. Pay it forward...honor those whom served, yes...but also find someone about to join and ensure he or she understands the signficance of this day for them as well. They will be the future, and the future looks good on them.
I would list out some of those most special to me, but I would most definitely forget someone along the way and that is a risk I will not take. Thank you to all whom served before me and paved the way with your sacrifices, thank you to all whom served with me over the years and helped mold me into whom I am today, and thank you to all those whom choose to served after me, for it is you whom we shall look up to in the years to come and will support you as we've been supported. We've got your Six!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Golden Nugget #2: Motivation vs. Inspiration
Have you ever heard the question, "what motivates you?" Better yet, have you been part of a leadership team which is tasked with motivating others? Getting the best out of a group of skilled individuals is an essential and necessary part of what a leader does, but is it honestly motivation we need to focus on? Think about this for just a second. If we motivate someone to perform a task very well, once the task is completed, so is the motivation. If we give financial incentives to motivate, what happens when the money runs out?
During my recent leadership conference, we had the absolute pleasure to have a keynote speaker by the name of Nicholas Boothman. He posed a question that caught me off guard and then provided the answer and reasoning for the answer. (Also a positive leadership technique, by the way!) He asked, "why are there so many motivational speakers out there?" Well, as it turns out, he went on to explain that motivation just "bloody doesn't work." If you're a leader and striving for a short burst of energy or focus to complete a specific task, then motivate away. If you're looking for engaged, productive, and excited work forces, motivation is an ingredient in what you really need, not the full recipe for success. What do you need? Inspiration, my friend, you need inspiration!
If you inspire people, they will motivate themselves! This is a novel approach. Now the hard work must begin, how do we inspire those whom we must lead? Those we want to lead? Those whom in return want to be lead? As I stated, motivation must come from within, so the first step is finding a group whom has the desire to work, engage, and be part of this thing you are trying to accomplish.
Once those people are found and included into the group or activity, the second step is to be clear in your communications. Huh? What does this have to do with anything? Everything, that's what! You have to be clear in what you are doing, why you are doing it, when you are doing it, and where you are doing it, and most importantly, how you are doing it. With clear communications on the who, what, why, when, where, and how's, you've started the process off with a clear goal, procedure, and expectation.
Now we have the people and they know the details, we need to motivate them to get the activity done, right? Wrong! We need to inspire them. If we provide them with inspiration, we open up the entire process to suggestions for improvements, empowered employees whom what to be part of this, and a continual evolution of successes. If we empower those whom want to be there and are clear in our communications, they will want to be part of this. We must inspire.
Motivation is essential, yes. It is essential for short term goals or activities. If someone whom is having a rough day or facing a daunting task, we must utilize motivation to help them over the hurdle. Then use the success to help build them, this will inspire them to do it again. Motivation is a needed tool in the leadership toolbox, but inspiration should be the belt with which we carry it.
How about you? Would you rather be motivated by your leader or would you rather be inspired?
During my recent leadership conference, we had the absolute pleasure to have a keynote speaker by the name of Nicholas Boothman. He posed a question that caught me off guard and then provided the answer and reasoning for the answer. (Also a positive leadership technique, by the way!) He asked, "why are there so many motivational speakers out there?" Well, as it turns out, he went on to explain that motivation just "bloody doesn't work." If you're a leader and striving for a short burst of energy or focus to complete a specific task, then motivate away. If you're looking for engaged, productive, and excited work forces, motivation is an ingredient in what you really need, not the full recipe for success. What do you need? Inspiration, my friend, you need inspiration!
If you inspire people, they will motivate themselves! This is a novel approach. Now the hard work must begin, how do we inspire those whom we must lead? Those we want to lead? Those whom in return want to be lead? As I stated, motivation must come from within, so the first step is finding a group whom has the desire to work, engage, and be part of this thing you are trying to accomplish.
Once those people are found and included into the group or activity, the second step is to be clear in your communications. Huh? What does this have to do with anything? Everything, that's what! You have to be clear in what you are doing, why you are doing it, when you are doing it, and where you are doing it, and most importantly, how you are doing it. With clear communications on the who, what, why, when, where, and how's, you've started the process off with a clear goal, procedure, and expectation.
Now we have the people and they know the details, we need to motivate them to get the activity done, right? Wrong! We need to inspire them. If we provide them with inspiration, we open up the entire process to suggestions for improvements, empowered employees whom what to be part of this, and a continual evolution of successes. If we empower those whom want to be there and are clear in our communications, they will want to be part of this. We must inspire.
Motivation is essential, yes. It is essential for short term goals or activities. If someone whom is having a rough day or facing a daunting task, we must utilize motivation to help them over the hurdle. Then use the success to help build them, this will inspire them to do it again. Motivation is a needed tool in the leadership toolbox, but inspiration should be the belt with which we carry it.
How about you? Would you rather be motivated by your leader or would you rather be inspired?
Monday, August 26, 2013
Golden Nuggets #1
I once heard someone say that information that can help you improve who you are and develop you professional and/or personally is called golden nuggets. Here is my first installment in sharing my golden nuggets from the past few weeks.
Over the past week, I've had the pleasure of going to a leadership conference and obtaining feedback on the previous six months of my work in my new career track. All of the information obtained has given me a reason to pause slightly and think through where I've been and where I'm going. Yes, it's good...no, it's great to be back on a professional path!
The leadership conference allowed me to be exposed to our senior leadership and hear from them where they think the company and industry is headed and how they approached their careers along the way. The largest thing I learned is there is no singular pathway to success within our company, you simply have to have two things, the desire to work hard and well and possess an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches. Now, those are not the words spoken, but the overall message was just this. The theme of the conference was Building Connections. I believe the year prior was Making Connections, but since I wasn't there, I could be wrong. Now, if the theme-line continues, I would love to see next year's become Managing Connections.
Now, back to the two items needed for success, let's focus there for today. The desire to work hard and well seems simple enough, right? Not really! Everyone has the ability to work hard, but the desire has to come from owning a drive...a drive to succeed, own your work, take responsibility for your results, and a drive that comes from within. No, it's not that simple really. Own your work and take responsibility for your results. That sentence right there is perhaps the simplest, yet most difficult to do as a human. Human nature allows us to own everything that produces excellent results. However, owning those failures is not quite as fun or rewarding. What I've learned over the years is that even failures build leaders and success. If you never fail, how hard are you really trying for success anyway? You are following a path already blazed. If you try something with great intentions and for all the right reasons with sound logic and it doesn't pan out...well, you learned what doesn't work and are that much closer to what does work. Simply because something you did failed does not mean you are a failure, that only happens when you give up! So, think about this and ask yourself if you really have the desire to work hard. I can honestly answer I do! I have much to learn and will continue to strive to learn every day in this new venture I'm in, by doing so I become better and more valuable.
The second item was never spoken out loud either, but the messages all pointed back to here. The intent of the seminars were well received and carried the absolute right messages. However, when combined together, the related thread and requirement was possessing an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches. Human nature also provides us with this little thing called comfort in routines and patterns, they make us comfortable. Yet, stepping outside this comfort is where the real work gets done. In order to be successful, change is where it's at! Doing the same things over and over and refusing to change has been at the heart of many previously successful companies either at the brink or over the edge of collapse. Be excited by change, this means you are being challenged and get to learn. Change can bring new, easier, better, and more successful things and processes into play. For the most part, these changes are already tested and ready to implement. Take charge, take the horns, drive the change, own the change...be the change. If we change and are excited about where it is going to take us, then so will those around us. Step out and step up! This is where leaders are born and reside. What's your address? Out of the two tokens to take away here, this one is harder for me as well. However, having recognized this, more of my energies are focused on this...I shall overcome my resistance and answer the challenge as well. I am a firm believer leaders have traits unique to them, but without development, they never come to light or are honed. It's my time to see what I've got!!
Life is a journey, not a destination. The same with success. After the feedback I received this week, I feel I'm on the right road and heading in the correct direction. How many milestones I pass won't be fully known until retirement, when I reach the professional destination point. In the interim, I'm travelling this road, it's what I am meant to do. You in?
Over the past week, I've had the pleasure of going to a leadership conference and obtaining feedback on the previous six months of my work in my new career track. All of the information obtained has given me a reason to pause slightly and think through where I've been and where I'm going. Yes, it's good...no, it's great to be back on a professional path!
The leadership conference allowed me to be exposed to our senior leadership and hear from them where they think the company and industry is headed and how they approached their careers along the way. The largest thing I learned is there is no singular pathway to success within our company, you simply have to have two things, the desire to work hard and well and possess an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches. Now, those are not the words spoken, but the overall message was just this. The theme of the conference was Building Connections. I believe the year prior was Making Connections, but since I wasn't there, I could be wrong. Now, if the theme-line continues, I would love to see next year's become Managing Connections.
Now, back to the two items needed for success, let's focus there for today. The desire to work hard and well seems simple enough, right? Not really! Everyone has the ability to work hard, but the desire has to come from owning a drive...a drive to succeed, own your work, take responsibility for your results, and a drive that comes from within. No, it's not that simple really. Own your work and take responsibility for your results. That sentence right there is perhaps the simplest, yet most difficult to do as a human. Human nature allows us to own everything that produces excellent results. However, owning those failures is not quite as fun or rewarding. What I've learned over the years is that even failures build leaders and success. If you never fail, how hard are you really trying for success anyway? You are following a path already blazed. If you try something with great intentions and for all the right reasons with sound logic and it doesn't pan out...well, you learned what doesn't work and are that much closer to what does work. Simply because something you did failed does not mean you are a failure, that only happens when you give up! So, think about this and ask yourself if you really have the desire to work hard. I can honestly answer I do! I have much to learn and will continue to strive to learn every day in this new venture I'm in, by doing so I become better and more valuable.
The second item was never spoken out loud either, but the messages all pointed back to here. The intent of the seminars were well received and carried the absolute right messages. However, when combined together, the related thread and requirement was possessing an open mind willing to learn new perspectives and approaches. Human nature also provides us with this little thing called comfort in routines and patterns, they make us comfortable. Yet, stepping outside this comfort is where the real work gets done. In order to be successful, change is where it's at! Doing the same things over and over and refusing to change has been at the heart of many previously successful companies either at the brink or over the edge of collapse. Be excited by change, this means you are being challenged and get to learn. Change can bring new, easier, better, and more successful things and processes into play. For the most part, these changes are already tested and ready to implement. Take charge, take the horns, drive the change, own the change...be the change. If we change and are excited about where it is going to take us, then so will those around us. Step out and step up! This is where leaders are born and reside. What's your address? Out of the two tokens to take away here, this one is harder for me as well. However, having recognized this, more of my energies are focused on this...I shall overcome my resistance and answer the challenge as well. I am a firm believer leaders have traits unique to them, but without development, they never come to light or are honed. It's my time to see what I've got!!
Life is a journey, not a destination. The same with success. After the feedback I received this week, I feel I'm on the right road and heading in the correct direction. How many milestones I pass won't be fully known until retirement, when I reach the professional destination point. In the interim, I'm travelling this road, it's what I am meant to do. You in?
Monday, August 19, 2013
How Did This Happen? Life is Speeding Up!
When I first started writing again 5 or 6 years ago, I wrote every week...sometimes more. I wrote about things I was feeling, experiencing, or simply thinking. But, I wrote. When I was looking for my next career after I left the military, I wrote even more. I channeled my time and energies to ensure I remained sane. Writing was my therapy. And now?
It seems that I stay so busy these days that to sneak a few moments to write is stealing from something else needing to be done. How did life become so busy that I forgot to record events, feelings, and dare I say, happiness?!
I do believe that is simply what has happened! Family events, work events, and life events simply have taken up the empty spaces in time. Yet, I must try harder to remember what got me through those times when things weren't so good. Writing was easy when life was hard. Now, writing seems to be hard now that life is easy. I need to accept this challenge and return to the pages, document this happiness, and reflect on the journey.
I shall do better! Life deserves documenting and life is indeed good.
It seems that I stay so busy these days that to sneak a few moments to write is stealing from something else needing to be done. How did life become so busy that I forgot to record events, feelings, and dare I say, happiness?!
I do believe that is simply what has happened! Family events, work events, and life events simply have taken up the empty spaces in time. Yet, I must try harder to remember what got me through those times when things weren't so good. Writing was easy when life was hard. Now, writing seems to be hard now that life is easy. I need to accept this challenge and return to the pages, document this happiness, and reflect on the journey.
I shall do better! Life deserves documenting and life is indeed good.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Spring Cleaning Our Lives
As we go through each year of our lives, we tend to pick things up. We pick up new friends, new favorite places, clothes, music, and even bad habits. We add them all to our lives and we carry them with us into each new season.
Well, spring has finally sprung. With spring comes the ritual forever known as spring cleaning. This is when we review our lives and our dwellings and try to make them cleaner or less cluttered. In my life, we are doing some remodeling on our home and I'm forging into the second half of my first year in my new career.
This year has brought so many blessings, but has also brought some heavy heartedness within our lives and those of some around us. We carry with us the fondness of the memories, but we also still struggle with the grief at times. During our own spring cleaning, perhaps we shed the grief and celebrate the memories and the mere presence these individuals had in our lives before we lost them!
Within my career, I have learned so much and continue to know and grow more every day. As with any career and position, there are those days with challenges. However, the chance to grow, help others in their own career journeys, and the friendships formed with my peers have forged a continuous striving for improvement, both within myself and for my team.
So, as we forge into the summer months, let's lose the heaviness of those things which burden us and embrace the chances given to us to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually! My life is pretty great as it is, but can always use a little cleaning as well. How about yours?
Well, spring has finally sprung. With spring comes the ritual forever known as spring cleaning. This is when we review our lives and our dwellings and try to make them cleaner or less cluttered. In my life, we are doing some remodeling on our home and I'm forging into the second half of my first year in my new career.
This year has brought so many blessings, but has also brought some heavy heartedness within our lives and those of some around us. We carry with us the fondness of the memories, but we also still struggle with the grief at times. During our own spring cleaning, perhaps we shed the grief and celebrate the memories and the mere presence these individuals had in our lives before we lost them!
Within my career, I have learned so much and continue to know and grow more every day. As with any career and position, there are those days with challenges. However, the chance to grow, help others in their own career journeys, and the friendships formed with my peers have forged a continuous striving for improvement, both within myself and for my team.
So, as we forge into the summer months, let's lose the heaviness of those things which burden us and embrace the chances given to us to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually! My life is pretty great as it is, but can always use a little cleaning as well. How about yours?
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
March Madness or Life Madness?
As we all hurry to complete our brackets and pick the winner in this tournament beginning in the next few days, we rearrange our lives to ensure we capture the experiences of these young men. They are embarking on an adventure that so many boys dream of in back yards and parks across the country every summer. A champion team will be crowned out of many teams who began their seasons hoping for a chance, just a chance, to hoist the trophy. Only a handful will rejoice as champions, but they all will get to live the chance. How awesome does that seem? In the searing pain of defeat, young men will be hardened to try harder, work harder, be smarter, and grasp opportunity out of ruin. Life lessons will be forged. Seek opportunity in defeat and rejoice in the journey!
Looking at my life these days, I can say I rearranged my life in the same manner. I can't ever say I have experienced anything like what these men are about to embark upon, but I've had my own adventures and lessons in life. Not all were enjoyable or happy, but all were worth it. My life journey could not have been scripted in any better manner, but such an unpredictable path it has been.
Yet, in all the crazy days, a sense of peace is abundant these days. Yard work is upcoming, yet I can't wait. My new career challenges me every day, yet I find myself growing into it and loving the challenge (well most days!), and my family...well, there is so much I can say here. I am challenged every day to be the best I can be. I find myself working to make life easier for them, yet I'm in total amazement when they do the same in return. A dusty home is a great reminder that life is lived on the go, home is where you come to shower, change clothes, and go at it again.
So, as March Madness becomes about the game of basketball, take a few moments and look within your life and appreciate the madness in your march through life. There may not be a trophy or nets to cut down at the end of our tournament of life, but the simple joy of getting to be part of it makes it all worth the work. Don't you agree?
Looking at my life these days, I can say I rearranged my life in the same manner. I can't ever say I have experienced anything like what these men are about to embark upon, but I've had my own adventures and lessons in life. Not all were enjoyable or happy, but all were worth it. My life journey could not have been scripted in any better manner, but such an unpredictable path it has been.
Yet, in all the crazy days, a sense of peace is abundant these days. Yard work is upcoming, yet I can't wait. My new career challenges me every day, yet I find myself growing into it and loving the challenge (well most days!), and my family...well, there is so much I can say here. I am challenged every day to be the best I can be. I find myself working to make life easier for them, yet I'm in total amazement when they do the same in return. A dusty home is a great reminder that life is lived on the go, home is where you come to shower, change clothes, and go at it again.
So, as March Madness becomes about the game of basketball, take a few moments and look within your life and appreciate the madness in your march through life. There may not be a trophy or nets to cut down at the end of our tournament of life, but the simple joy of getting to be part of it makes it all worth the work. Don't you agree?
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Springtime in Our Lives!
As we enter into spring from the winter months, we all start to shed the heavy clothing and rejoice in the lighter, warmer days of spring about to arrive. We start thinking about cleaning out the closets and finding new outfits. Spring and summer plans start to come to the forefront of our minds and we start to get a spring, pun intended, into our steps. We emerge from hibernation and see our neighbors again, smile and wave. Winter is part of the annual seasonal shifts and brings us Christmas, snowmen, and the Super Bowl. Yet, its time has come to move along for 2013. Let us get back outside and start living life to the fullest again! We do this every year, but do we take the time to do this in our personal life as well? Do we clean house and declutter our internal selves?
In "Bushels and Barrels," I speak of Spring as the renewal of life. Our lives also have seasons and spring is when we renew ourselves and are full of energy. We need to remove the "old" things in our lives which are holding us back from the eternal joy of living. Shed your "coat" which you wear covering up who you are. Be true to yourself and those around you will see your light shine as the wonderful human being, friend, family member, etc you are.
Winter was our time to catch our collective breath from going full steam during the spring and summer months and to reflect on our lives. Now it's time to act upon those reflections. I've seen some friends make significant life changes to improve themselves and I've been inspired. Reach your arms out and upward...stretch them. Reach as high as you can, then aim for higher. By reaching outside your comfort zone, you grow. By reaching upwards, you seek, and receive, guidance on how to grow and live a righteous life.
Outward and upward! Reach. Stretch. Grow. Live life! I'm excited, are you?
In "Bushels and Barrels," I speak of Spring as the renewal of life. Our lives also have seasons and spring is when we renew ourselves and are full of energy. We need to remove the "old" things in our lives which are holding us back from the eternal joy of living. Shed your "coat" which you wear covering up who you are. Be true to yourself and those around you will see your light shine as the wonderful human being, friend, family member, etc you are.
Winter was our time to catch our collective breath from going full steam during the spring and summer months and to reflect on our lives. Now it's time to act upon those reflections. I've seen some friends make significant life changes to improve themselves and I've been inspired. Reach your arms out and upward...stretch them. Reach as high as you can, then aim for higher. By reaching outside your comfort zone, you grow. By reaching upwards, you seek, and receive, guidance on how to grow and live a righteous life.
Outward and upward! Reach. Stretch. Grow. Live life! I'm excited, are you?
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Leadership Styles and Culture Shifts
Greetings and welcome to 2013 folks! I hope the new year has been kind to you all thus far. I've seen some challenges and some hardships faced by people I know and I ask for prayers for them and hope their year turns around and becomes one of happiness, fruitfulness, and love.
Now, to the topic of this particular entry...the art (and challenge) of leadership and the performance of such in differing environments. I chose this topic as I have definitely been challenged as of late and wanted to find a way to express my thoughts in a generic way. Having been educated via military training, bachelor and master degree programs, and simply work experience in leadership, I can concede there are multiple leadership styles and a person can, and should, utilize multiple styles depending on certain situations.
For example, if you have an employee, or a group of them, who performs at their peak or at least their highest level of effort, the coaching aspect of leadership comes into play. You try to support that employee, help identify and tweak their minor mistakes, and become the cheerleader when they do quite well. These employees are the ones whom make your job easiest and the most enjoyable. Yet, unfortunately, it is these employees whom get such a small percentage of your time. They are doing well, so their needs are not as great as other groups. As leaders, it is our job to recognize this, take the extra moment or two, and ensure the efforts, results, and contributions are noticed to ensure the feeling of apathy does not settle in and we lose the valued employees to greener pastures.
Then on the entire opposite end of the spectrum are the employees whom take up the majority of your time...those that really don't want to be there. This group is my struggle in my transition from military to civilian. The military is made up of a large group the same as a large corporation, yet the approach and culture is completely different. In the military, should someone display behavior which is detrimental to the advancement of the unit or the branch of service, it is dealt with swiftly. I'm not saying the individual is dealt with, per se, but the behavior is. If the military deems the individual has qualities which can contribute to improving and becoming a meaningful member, the "punishment" is much different than for those whom show no desire to belong...those members are also helped along to their desired outcome, discharge. However, in the civilian world, things are so much more gray than the black and white I'm used to.
Within the civilian world, there are many more concerns and impacts to a decision when trying to figure out a course of action for an employee not displaying the attributes of a model performer. Here, items such as length of employment, history of behavior, severity of actions, and (sadly enough), threat of legal actions come into play. While there are some similarities between the military and civilian worlds, the differences are noticeable, yet not so different that the gaps catch you. The very fact that policies, procedures, and avenues for both sides provide protection and clear-cut expectations close the gaps. If the leader maintains impartiality, follows set and written procedures, and chooses his/her leadership style to properly match the situation, the "company" will be better for it.
Patience is a test which can be difficult to master, but is necessary in these situations. I'm learning that all over again...and again. Those whom want to be in the corporate "family" will follow the expectations. Those that don't want to follow expectations will eventually find somewhere else to be. The patience to deal with the situations in the meantime is a quality I need to learn to develop and hone.
I wanted a career which would provide me with a challenge in order to develop me personally and professionally. The challenge is being presented in a fashion I did not forecast, yet it is what I asked for (sort of). I have been given this challenge because it is my test to pass. This is my opportunity to rise above the fray, face the challenge, lead the team through this, and leave those whom choose not to join by the way side. The organization will be better for this renewed focus, the team will be better, and I will become a better, stronger, and more productive leader as well.
Now, to enjoy the weekend, regroup, refocus, and enter the fray again on Monday!
Now, to the topic of this particular entry...the art (and challenge) of leadership and the performance of such in differing environments. I chose this topic as I have definitely been challenged as of late and wanted to find a way to express my thoughts in a generic way. Having been educated via military training, bachelor and master degree programs, and simply work experience in leadership, I can concede there are multiple leadership styles and a person can, and should, utilize multiple styles depending on certain situations.
For example, if you have an employee, or a group of them, who performs at their peak or at least their highest level of effort, the coaching aspect of leadership comes into play. You try to support that employee, help identify and tweak their minor mistakes, and become the cheerleader when they do quite well. These employees are the ones whom make your job easiest and the most enjoyable. Yet, unfortunately, it is these employees whom get such a small percentage of your time. They are doing well, so their needs are not as great as other groups. As leaders, it is our job to recognize this, take the extra moment or two, and ensure the efforts, results, and contributions are noticed to ensure the feeling of apathy does not settle in and we lose the valued employees to greener pastures.
Then on the entire opposite end of the spectrum are the employees whom take up the majority of your time...those that really don't want to be there. This group is my struggle in my transition from military to civilian. The military is made up of a large group the same as a large corporation, yet the approach and culture is completely different. In the military, should someone display behavior which is detrimental to the advancement of the unit or the branch of service, it is dealt with swiftly. I'm not saying the individual is dealt with, per se, but the behavior is. If the military deems the individual has qualities which can contribute to improving and becoming a meaningful member, the "punishment" is much different than for those whom show no desire to belong...those members are also helped along to their desired outcome, discharge. However, in the civilian world, things are so much more gray than the black and white I'm used to.
Within the civilian world, there are many more concerns and impacts to a decision when trying to figure out a course of action for an employee not displaying the attributes of a model performer. Here, items such as length of employment, history of behavior, severity of actions, and (sadly enough), threat of legal actions come into play. While there are some similarities between the military and civilian worlds, the differences are noticeable, yet not so different that the gaps catch you. The very fact that policies, procedures, and avenues for both sides provide protection and clear-cut expectations close the gaps. If the leader maintains impartiality, follows set and written procedures, and chooses his/her leadership style to properly match the situation, the "company" will be better for it.
Patience is a test which can be difficult to master, but is necessary in these situations. I'm learning that all over again...and again. Those whom want to be in the corporate "family" will follow the expectations. Those that don't want to follow expectations will eventually find somewhere else to be. The patience to deal with the situations in the meantime is a quality I need to learn to develop and hone.
I wanted a career which would provide me with a challenge in order to develop me personally and professionally. The challenge is being presented in a fashion I did not forecast, yet it is what I asked for (sort of). I have been given this challenge because it is my test to pass. This is my opportunity to rise above the fray, face the challenge, lead the team through this, and leave those whom choose not to join by the way side. The organization will be better for this renewed focus, the team will be better, and I will become a better, stronger, and more productive leader as well.
Now, to enjoy the weekend, regroup, refocus, and enter the fray again on Monday!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
2012 Holiday Season and 2013 Preparations
As we all finalize our preparations for the Christmas traditions held true and dear for each family we belong to, let's all remember to reflect on the seasons past and prepare for the adventures moving forward. Looking throughout this past year, there are those whom Kristine, Jade, and I are still very close with and those whom we have drifted away from, to a certain degree. There are also those out there I haven't personally seen in years, and I'm sure the same is true for Kristine.
2012 brought with it many challenges, to say the least, for our family. I spent the majority of the year searching for an identity, career, and source of income with which to support the family. I explored almost every option imaginable...I explored insurance sales, several different franchising opportunities, and interviewed for multiple career opportunities. Yet none of them seemed to be right for me and the family. Through the graces of God, my financial situation allowed me to be choosy and find the right fit for me and the career I would embark upon. In February, I embarked upon a large project which had been laid upon my heart, to write a book. This became a full-time endeavor that took me well into June. Finally, "Bushels and Barrels - Redefining the American Dream" was published in June. In early September, I awoke to begin the day searching for work when I received an email stating my resume had been seen on a military recruiting website. I was then recruited, interviewed, and offered a position which I ultimately accepted. There is no looking back and my life, future, and career took off! I had learned a valuable lesson that I define my life, but the career helps me travel the journey I lay out for myself and my family. But this wasn't just a year of Lee in the household, oh no...Jade and Kristine also enjoyed a banner year.
Kristine spent most of 2012 being the primary bread winner, mother to Jade, and loving, supporting wife to me. She celebrated her 14th year of her career with ThinkTv and still loves what she does...an achievement many of us can only aspire to! She continued to support Jade's athletic teams as an Assistant Coach to the St Helen volleyball team and spent her 5th year coaching cheerleading. Through these activities, Kristine and I have become the "parents" to many a young lady who are friends with Jade when they come over for sleepovers. One of her main highlights of the year was the celebration of our 2nd year anniversary. If you know her, you know she is a huge Ohio State Buckeye fan! We departed early in the morning for an early November game at the Buckeye stadium, affectionately known as the Shoe. We arrived at our hotel and took a cab into the Columbus, Ohio campus area for tailgating. Lots of fun and people celebrating the upcoming game. Then we got to experience a show from the band and I got to watch Kristine get excited as Coach Urban Meyer and the football team entered the indoor arena to rally the fans. Afterwards, we experienced a great game in an awesome stadium which can't be rivaled by many. After yet another victory on the way to 12-0, we returned to the hotel and found a great restaurant to finish the day out. Yes, this was a great escape and highlight of the year for us as a couple.
Jade can't be left out as she left childhood and entered her official teenage years. She is half way through her 7th grade and is highly successful thus far. The letter "A" and her report card are best friends this year...can we say proud? She also holds an incredible honor of being runner-up in her Geography Bee. She also elevated from elementary school in her athletic activities to cheer her first year in the Carroll High School 7th grade squad. Early in the new year, she'll also continue her volleyball career. As if her academic and athletic careers didn't keep her busy enough, she's also continued her hectic social schedule as well. Lots of friends, sleepovers, conversations, and new infatuations with British bands have dominated 2012 for her.
As a collective family, we deem 2012 as a ginormous success! Even the puppies, Duncan and Polar Bear, got into the swing of things by getting used to having dad around all day and then readjusting to greeting him happily at the door at the end of the day. Spoiled doesn't even begin to explain them.
I hope you and yours have also had a successful and blessed year! Struggles are a part of life and we all have to survive them to get to the next day. It is in finding blessings in every day, every week, and every month, do we see the bigger picture of a successful year. The Ray family holds each and every one of you as near and dear friends...and even family. We love you guys and can't wait to be part of your lives as you are a part of ours in 2013.
Merry Christmas to all!
2012 brought with it many challenges, to say the least, for our family. I spent the majority of the year searching for an identity, career, and source of income with which to support the family. I explored almost every option imaginable...I explored insurance sales, several different franchising opportunities, and interviewed for multiple career opportunities. Yet none of them seemed to be right for me and the family. Through the graces of God, my financial situation allowed me to be choosy and find the right fit for me and the career I would embark upon. In February, I embarked upon a large project which had been laid upon my heart, to write a book. This became a full-time endeavor that took me well into June. Finally, "Bushels and Barrels - Redefining the American Dream" was published in June. In early September, I awoke to begin the day searching for work when I received an email stating my resume had been seen on a military recruiting website. I was then recruited, interviewed, and offered a position which I ultimately accepted. There is no looking back and my life, future, and career took off! I had learned a valuable lesson that I define my life, but the career helps me travel the journey I lay out for myself and my family. But this wasn't just a year of Lee in the household, oh no...Jade and Kristine also enjoyed a banner year.
Kristine spent most of 2012 being the primary bread winner, mother to Jade, and loving, supporting wife to me. She celebrated her 14th year of her career with ThinkTv and still loves what she does...an achievement many of us can only aspire to! She continued to support Jade's athletic teams as an Assistant Coach to the St Helen volleyball team and spent her 5th year coaching cheerleading. Through these activities, Kristine and I have become the "parents" to many a young lady who are friends with Jade when they come over for sleepovers. One of her main highlights of the year was the celebration of our 2nd year anniversary. If you know her, you know she is a huge Ohio State Buckeye fan! We departed early in the morning for an early November game at the Buckeye stadium, affectionately known as the Shoe. We arrived at our hotel and took a cab into the Columbus, Ohio campus area for tailgating. Lots of fun and people celebrating the upcoming game. Then we got to experience a show from the band and I got to watch Kristine get excited as Coach Urban Meyer and the football team entered the indoor arena to rally the fans. Afterwards, we experienced a great game in an awesome stadium which can't be rivaled by many. After yet another victory on the way to 12-0, we returned to the hotel and found a great restaurant to finish the day out. Yes, this was a great escape and highlight of the year for us as a couple.
Jade can't be left out as she left childhood and entered her official teenage years. She is half way through her 7th grade and is highly successful thus far. The letter "A" and her report card are best friends this year...can we say proud? She also holds an incredible honor of being runner-up in her Geography Bee. She also elevated from elementary school in her athletic activities to cheer her first year in the Carroll High School 7th grade squad. Early in the new year, she'll also continue her volleyball career. As if her academic and athletic careers didn't keep her busy enough, she's also continued her hectic social schedule as well. Lots of friends, sleepovers, conversations, and new infatuations with British bands have dominated 2012 for her.
As a collective family, we deem 2012 as a ginormous success! Even the puppies, Duncan and Polar Bear, got into the swing of things by getting used to having dad around all day and then readjusting to greeting him happily at the door at the end of the day. Spoiled doesn't even begin to explain them.
I hope you and yours have also had a successful and blessed year! Struggles are a part of life and we all have to survive them to get to the next day. It is in finding blessings in every day, every week, and every month, do we see the bigger picture of a successful year. The Ray family holds each and every one of you as near and dear friends...and even family. We love you guys and can't wait to be part of your lives as you are a part of ours in 2013.
Merry Christmas to all!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thankful? Yes, yes I am!
Happy Thanksgiving to all you bloggers out there and those reading our blogs! This is the time of year when people begin to reflect on what they have instead of what they don't. This is a unique shift from the normal in our society today, but a great example of what we should attempt to do every single day. Even though my book tries to retrain the brain to look at the positives and to minimize and survive the negatives, it's good to see society take time out to do the exact same thing.
In my life, I am so thankful for my family...all of them. From my sisters, dad, cousins, aunts, and uncles still residing in Virginia to my son living in California...we cover the coasts of this great nation. Then there is my family I married into. My amazingly special wife, such an incredible step-daughter (rarely is this term used with respect to her though), and the in-laws...each and every one of them are part of my blessings.
And this year, my first full year of civilian life after the military, I have to give thanks to all those friends who also kept me uplifted and encouraged while searching for work. During that time, Bushels and Barrels was written reminding myself and others whom have read my book to focus on the positive and good things will happen. This group of people have made an imprint into my life and I am thankful for all of them. Whether they be in person or through social media, a bond is strengthened when you lift each other up and hold each other in high regard.
For the past two months, I have begun my new journey in my professional world. I am creating an identity within the company and gaining confidence in my abilities each and every day. There are still much to learn, but I've learned so much and come so far in such a short period of time. Having time between careers allowed me to enter this opportunity with hunger, desire, and confidence. To know each day that my decisions and actions affect the careers of the 20+ people whom directly report to me is such an honor and responsibility. I take this responsibility seriously and feel good they have accepted me and we work well as a team. With every team, there can be those challenging individuals, but even they deserve the best I have, whether that be to mold them, assist them in their jouney to another career where they are better suited, or just handling their challenges professionally. Each day is an opportunity to be a reflection of my motto: Positive Perspectives Produce Positive People.
As I look over this past year, I am thankful for every day of it. Count your blessings on the good days. Learn the lessons given in the bad days. Both types of days build us into better people. Learn, improve, strengthen, and most importantly, love. Have a great day, ya'll!
In my life, I am so thankful for my family...all of them. From my sisters, dad, cousins, aunts, and uncles still residing in Virginia to my son living in California...we cover the coasts of this great nation. Then there is my family I married into. My amazingly special wife, such an incredible step-daughter (rarely is this term used with respect to her though), and the in-laws...each and every one of them are part of my blessings.
And this year, my first full year of civilian life after the military, I have to give thanks to all those friends who also kept me uplifted and encouraged while searching for work. During that time, Bushels and Barrels was written reminding myself and others whom have read my book to focus on the positive and good things will happen. This group of people have made an imprint into my life and I am thankful for all of them. Whether they be in person or through social media, a bond is strengthened when you lift each other up and hold each other in high regard.
For the past two months, I have begun my new journey in my professional world. I am creating an identity within the company and gaining confidence in my abilities each and every day. There are still much to learn, but I've learned so much and come so far in such a short period of time. Having time between careers allowed me to enter this opportunity with hunger, desire, and confidence. To know each day that my decisions and actions affect the careers of the 20+ people whom directly report to me is such an honor and responsibility. I take this responsibility seriously and feel good they have accepted me and we work well as a team. With every team, there can be those challenging individuals, but even they deserve the best I have, whether that be to mold them, assist them in their jouney to another career where they are better suited, or just handling their challenges professionally. Each day is an opportunity to be a reflection of my motto: Positive Perspectives Produce Positive People.
As I look over this past year, I am thankful for every day of it. Count your blessings on the good days. Learn the lessons given in the bad days. Both types of days build us into better people. Learn, improve, strengthen, and most importantly, love. Have a great day, ya'll!
Monday, November 5, 2012
It's Tough Being the New Kid on the Block
Have you ever changed schools, job, or neighborhood? If so, you know the feeling I speak of when I say you have to break into the inner circle. Friendships are already formed and routines are established and you have to be quiet, patient, and observant to gain acceptance.
I continue to learn the nuances of my new career, the actions required of me every day, and the balance of being able to do it all simultaneously. Or that's the way it seems to feel at times right now. I know it will take time and to give myself patience, but it seems too daunting at times. Give me about five years and I'll read this and fondly remember the struggles and chuckle. That's what I know will happen.
The people have been nothing less than amazing and they are slowly becoming more than just teammates, they are becoming friends. I can see myself with this company for the remainder of my working years. Yet, it will be some time before I'm including in the "remember when" moments...yet, that is ok. I'm enjoying the journey.
I'm enjoying the new relationships forming and the challenge that comes with learning each day. I'm enjoying bringing a positive attitude and my military work ethic every day. There was a reason they chose me for this position and God brought it to my doorstep. I just need to keep reminding myself on those days when I feel lost that I can do this and I will do this...patience is something I've become best friends with this past year, so we can do this together.
So, if you're in the same situation or get into one in your future...enjoy the journey, we've all been there and the memories can't be made without living through the moments of life. As I say with most things...it really is this simple!
I continue to learn the nuances of my new career, the actions required of me every day, and the balance of being able to do it all simultaneously. Or that's the way it seems to feel at times right now. I know it will take time and to give myself patience, but it seems too daunting at times. Give me about five years and I'll read this and fondly remember the struggles and chuckle. That's what I know will happen.
The people have been nothing less than amazing and they are slowly becoming more than just teammates, they are becoming friends. I can see myself with this company for the remainder of my working years. Yet, it will be some time before I'm including in the "remember when" moments...yet, that is ok. I'm enjoying the journey.
I'm enjoying the new relationships forming and the challenge that comes with learning each day. I'm enjoying bringing a positive attitude and my military work ethic every day. There was a reason they chose me for this position and God brought it to my doorstep. I just need to keep reminding myself on those days when I feel lost that I can do this and I will do this...patience is something I've become best friends with this past year, so we can do this together.
So, if you're in the same situation or get into one in your future...enjoy the journey, we've all been there and the memories can't be made without living through the moments of life. As I say with most things...it really is this simple!
Monday, October 8, 2012
Life's Seasonal Shifts and God's Lessons
Good evening, my friends! This entry carries with it many updates and thoughts to ponder. I do believe the seasonal shift from summer to fall is but one major shift in my life this year. As October rolls in and the temperatures start their decline and the leaves change to much brighter colors and descend to the ground, we savor life and the positives of the fall season...football, sweaters, bonfires, chilly air, beautiful nature scenes, and the approach of the holiday season. Man, does life get any better? This year, I would have to say...no, no life just can't get any better!
I also just began my civilian career after spending 365 days from the time I left the Air Force looking for my new job. There are two parts of this which make it amazing. The first reason why this is awesome news is that I didn't even find this career, it found me and I kept my options open and explored the opportunity being afforded me and now I feel I have my last career which should take me to retirement years from now. The second part which is amazing is the number of opportunities presented to me within the past two weeks since I accepted the position. One job offered was done after I pursued that position for about a year with no luck. God really does put us where He wants us and He does it when He wants us there as well. I was constantly reminded to keep the faith, some days were much easier than others though. He again has taught me to have faith in Him and lift all my concerns to Him and He will soothe me, support me, and provide for me. As I am the father of this household, He is my Father whom I should obey, trust, love, and honor.
The other event which reminds me of how completely blessed my life is comes with the arrival of my second anniversary with my beautiful and completely awesome bride/wife. There will never be a day in my life from now on where I forget the feeling I had when she entered the room on her dad's arm in her wedding dress and I knew she was going to be joining me at the end of the aisle and in life. Although unemployment isn't life threatening or any such thing, she was my rock this past year and defined the role of "for better or worse." I know that no matter what happens in our future, as long as I honor and cherish her, my life will never be without her in it.
Finally, I can say I love everything about my life. In the past, there was always a hole somewhere in there. Something just seemed to be missing, but no longer. I have God guiding my life and teaching me daily a lesson which makes me a better person, man, brother, father, husband, and employee...among other things. My priorities are straight and my perspective has been realigned to remind me to enjoy life and all it has to offer. For those struggling, it isn't always going to stay difficult...embrace those who love you and cling to those things which lift you when you need it. I love my life the way it is right now. If nothing ever changed, I could, would, and will be content. However, should life require me to face another challenge, so be it. I know I now have the tools, support, and knowledge to not only survive the adversity, but to thrive through it as well.
Thank you to everyone who has been with me through the highs and lows of the past several years. My life is definitely enriched by having you in it. I love you all!!
I also just began my civilian career after spending 365 days from the time I left the Air Force looking for my new job. There are two parts of this which make it amazing. The first reason why this is awesome news is that I didn't even find this career, it found me and I kept my options open and explored the opportunity being afforded me and now I feel I have my last career which should take me to retirement years from now. The second part which is amazing is the number of opportunities presented to me within the past two weeks since I accepted the position. One job offered was done after I pursued that position for about a year with no luck. God really does put us where He wants us and He does it when He wants us there as well. I was constantly reminded to keep the faith, some days were much easier than others though. He again has taught me to have faith in Him and lift all my concerns to Him and He will soothe me, support me, and provide for me. As I am the father of this household, He is my Father whom I should obey, trust, love, and honor.
The other event which reminds me of how completely blessed my life is comes with the arrival of my second anniversary with my beautiful and completely awesome bride/wife. There will never be a day in my life from now on where I forget the feeling I had when she entered the room on her dad's arm in her wedding dress and I knew she was going to be joining me at the end of the aisle and in life. Although unemployment isn't life threatening or any such thing, she was my rock this past year and defined the role of "for better or worse." I know that no matter what happens in our future, as long as I honor and cherish her, my life will never be without her in it.
Finally, I can say I love everything about my life. In the past, there was always a hole somewhere in there. Something just seemed to be missing, but no longer. I have God guiding my life and teaching me daily a lesson which makes me a better person, man, brother, father, husband, and employee...among other things. My priorities are straight and my perspective has been realigned to remind me to enjoy life and all it has to offer. For those struggling, it isn't always going to stay difficult...embrace those who love you and cling to those things which lift you when you need it. I love my life the way it is right now. If nothing ever changed, I could, would, and will be content. However, should life require me to face another challenge, so be it. I know I now have the tools, support, and knowledge to not only survive the adversity, but to thrive through it as well.
Thank you to everyone who has been with me through the highs and lows of the past several years. My life is definitely enriched by having you in it. I love you all!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
9/11 Remembering When...
9/11/2001...a day we all will never forget...EVER! I was a young military officer back then, still honing the skills of leadership. I had already been military for five years prior to that day, but it changed my service and my thoughts on what it meant to serve our country. Every single one of us was hurt, pissed, and ready to do something about it!
For those of you whom are not military, if you have ever watched the show "Army Wives", it gives a good reflection on the daily lives and struggles of military families, albeit Hollywood style. However, the issues are real and reflected quite well throughout the series. Heck, there are times it makes me wish I still wore the uniform so I could volunteer for things and go back to making a difference. The episode last year with the military funeral really rang out loud in my heart. Then the season finale this past week hit me like it was happening for real, the storyline is done so well.
Perhaps it is the thought that my career ended with unfinished business or the fact I still struggle sometimes with the new identity of being a veteran instead of active duty. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and where I am, but there is always the reflection where you wonder what you could have done differently. I guess that is normal in everyone's life though.
Exactly one year after the attacks, I found myself in Uzbekistan, just mere miles from the Afghanistan border living in a tent and doing what I vowed to do that day, something about it! A friend of mine was part of an aircrew that was flying a mission that day. I gave him an American flag to take with him and he did. That flag represents more to me that just about any of my medals or awards ever received in my 16 1/2 years of service. It is properly displayed within my shadow box to remind me daily of what I have done and where I have been. It reminds me to be grateful and to do something with my life each and every day. I hope I keep that promise to myself, to those no longer able to do so, and to those within my life.
How do you remember and honor those lost?
For those of you whom are not military, if you have ever watched the show "Army Wives", it gives a good reflection on the daily lives and struggles of military families, albeit Hollywood style. However, the issues are real and reflected quite well throughout the series. Heck, there are times it makes me wish I still wore the uniform so I could volunteer for things and go back to making a difference. The episode last year with the military funeral really rang out loud in my heart. Then the season finale this past week hit me like it was happening for real, the storyline is done so well.
Perhaps it is the thought that my career ended with unfinished business or the fact I still struggle sometimes with the new identity of being a veteran instead of active duty. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and where I am, but there is always the reflection where you wonder what you could have done differently. I guess that is normal in everyone's life though.
Exactly one year after the attacks, I found myself in Uzbekistan, just mere miles from the Afghanistan border living in a tent and doing what I vowed to do that day, something about it! A friend of mine was part of an aircrew that was flying a mission that day. I gave him an American flag to take with him and he did. That flag represents more to me that just about any of my medals or awards ever received in my 16 1/2 years of service. It is properly displayed within my shadow box to remind me daily of what I have done and where I have been. It reminds me to be grateful and to do something with my life each and every day. I hope I keep that promise to myself, to those no longer able to do so, and to those within my life.
How do you remember and honor those lost?
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